i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Screwed.edu
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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