I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
