I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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