Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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