I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
