Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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