I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
it's like iHOP with fire
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
