I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
