i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
