What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
