dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I love you.
Bad choice
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
