I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
