You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
