you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
