Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
