i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
