rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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