Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
