it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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