I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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