Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You took a bar mat shot.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
