Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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