ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
