when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
