he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
is wine microwaveable?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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