Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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