I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We have so much sex to catch up on
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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