Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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