I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
