i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
