windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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