glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
