Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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