He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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