Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
