girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
