I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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