ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
