If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
