Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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