Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I stole a fireplace last night.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
