it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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