What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
