these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
