I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
do nipples grow back?
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