Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
