i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
