Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
