I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize