Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
