Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
