I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
