omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
