found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
