Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize