how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
