Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize