the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
