SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
