Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
