The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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