I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
