Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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