I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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