3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
