he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
