I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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