So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
