i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
