so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
