Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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